we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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