She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize