My sheets look like a crime scene.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
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She's like a pop up book from hell.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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