As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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