Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
