omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize