How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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