I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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