So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
