My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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