i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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