Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
