I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
