my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize