uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize