I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
