covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
