I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
