I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
