hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
