quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
