ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
