I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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