I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
