i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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