A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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