"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
we're so committed to being not committed
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
