we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
