so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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