hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
