FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
