If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you inspire me to be a worse person
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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