the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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