You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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