just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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