I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
