That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
