Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
