butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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