I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
organizing the empties. That sober.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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