I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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