She's JV to your varsity
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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