I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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