i think my tv is drunk
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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