he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
