Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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