she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
