Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
