i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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