I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
