halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm just crazy horny about you
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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