Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize