i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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