Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize