nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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