Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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