Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
