Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
